THE POWER OF MINDSET: Fixed vs. Growth

growthmindsetMy wife and I recently celebrated our first year of marriage! She is amazing and we are madly in love. Some would say we are “still in the honeymoon phase.” We have been through a lot and worked together on our relationship to try to understand each other. We both enjoy growing together as people and lovers.

Everyone knows the relationship statistics on marriages – about 50% end in divorce. But what about the other half? What happens to them? Only 2-3 (we’ll be optimistic) of the 5 remaining are actually “Happily Married.”

I come from a broken home and a generational line of alcoholics. My family put the fun in dysfunction. So knowing this I want to actively pursue a happy marriage with my wife. I believe that it’s easy to coast and end up three to four years down the line wondering “How did we get here?” and “What happened?”

Relationships take work, communication, listening, patience, understanding and so much more.

One of the best things we did to grow was to read together. Or read the books apart and discuss the chapters. The best teachers are lifelong learners and we aim to learn about each other and actively invest and build in our relationship. We also look to learn new things in order to grow as individuals and as a couple.

One of the best books we read last year is a book called, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck.

In the book Dr. Dweck explains why it’s not just our abilities and talent that bring us success–but whether we approach challenges with a fixed or growth mindset.

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A fixed mindset is one in which you view your talents and abilities as… well, fixed. In other words, you are who you are, your intelligence and talents are fixed, and your fate is to go through life avoiding challenge and failure.

A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one in which you see yourself as fluid, a work in progress. Your fate is one of growth and opportunity.

Dr. Dweck shows how a particular mindset can affect all areas of your life, from business to sports and love.

Here is a TED talk with Dr. Dweck that discusses a brief overview of the concepts: “Developing a Growth Mindset”

I would still highly recommend reading the book to help you with your mindset, marriage, relationships, parenting, coaching, business and more!

Do you read books? Do you finish books? (Side note: There are scary statistics too on people that don’t ever read anything after high school.) Maybe it’s time to put on that growth mindset and start.

What are some of the best books you’ve read lately? Leave a comment and let me know what you recommend.

 “A good book is one whose advice you believe. A great book is one whose advice you follow. This is a book that can change your life, as its ideas have changed mine.”—Robert J. Sternberg, co-author of Teaching for Wisdom, Intelligence, Creativity, and Success

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